Finding Comfort
by Muggle Jane
Summary: I couldn't help but stare at him. Harry Potter, the boy who lived. He looked so happy, dancing with her. I didn't know who she was and it wasn't important. She wasn't me. Oneshot, written for the HPFC Ultimate Het Love Competition.


**A/N My entry for the Hufflepuff level of the Ultimate Het Love Competition. Prompts: Christmas, chocolate brown, and the song Say When by The Fray.**

I couldn't help but stare at _him_. Harry Potter, the boy who lived. The man who had killed Voldemort, who'd ended the war. The hero. He looked so happy, dancing with _her_. I didn't know who she was and it wasn't important. She wasn't me. He was smiling, laughing, ducking his head to whisper in her ear. All of the things he had done with me last year in this very room. All of the things he would never do with me again. I was safe, hidden behind a fluffy Christmas tree, all lit up and sparkling with dazzling ornaments. He wouldn't see me there. I couldn't bear for him to see me there, wistful and alone.

When he leaned down and kissed her, I closed my eyes. I couldn't bear it anymore. I turned and walked and walked, eyes unfocused, until I hit fresh air. It was cold enough that it was snowing, but I barely noticed. There was a balcony railing before me and I gripped it tightly enough that it hurt. There was a hollow ache in my heart, almost a physical pain. I'd already cried so many tears over him, and more refused to come. My eyes burned, needing to cry. I couldn't.

"He is a fool, just like his father." That voice, so familiar; soft, disdainful. If there was one person who knew how it felt to be cast aside, it would be him.

I turned toward him. There was no point in hiding. He'd seen me, he'd seen my pain. I lifted my chin and met the intensity of his black eyes. We stared at each other. We'd shared pain before. I'd been the one to find him that night four and some years ago, bleeding and dying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. I'd done what I could for him, and stayed with him until a more competent healer came to save him. _He's one of us_, Harry had told me, and I'd saved him based on those four words.

We passed each other from time to time in the halls of the Ministry where we both worked and his dark eyes would follow me until I went out of view. The weight of his gaze had grown to be almost comforting.

As it was now.

He looked the same as he always did, black hair hanging limply around his face. His dress robes were all black, of course they were. His eyes, hard and impatient for everyone else, had softened just enough for me to see the difference.

"I'm the fool," I whispered.

"I've never thought you a fool. It is not foolish to love, only to throw love away on a whim." As he had done, years before I was even born.

I shivered, my chocolate brown dress robes barely providing any protection against elements. He extended a hand to me and I glided across the snow-dusted balcony to take it. His other hand came up to my face and he held my chin gently between his finger and thumb as he stared into my eyes.

He escorted me back to the party. It was the Ministry's big Yule party, everyone was there. I saw _him_ and I made to turn away again, but Severus held my hand tightly. "Don't give him the satisfaction, Ginevra," he murmured to me.

I stared at _him_ for a moment longer before looking up again into the intense black gaze. "Dance with me, Severus," I pleaded. He stared down at me and I could see several thoughts working behind his eyes. "Please," I whispered.

He led me out onto the dance floor. One hand settled at my waist and the other held my hand up between our shoulders. I placed my other hand on his shoulder, my fingers almost clutching the black fabric of his dress robes.

We danced. I'd never seen him dance before, but he was more graceful than I thought he'd be. We drew closer as we danced, swirling around the room together, until my head was resting on his shoulder. He stiffened, and for a moment I was afraid he was going to push me away. Instead, he pulled my hand up against his shoulder and the hand at my waist settled over the small of my back.

I closed my eyes and let him lead us until everything else faded away. There was nothing else except his arm around me and the beat of his heart, I could hear it deep in his chest.

A peal of laughter broke through my tremulous peace and I opened my eyes and looked up into his face. "Take me away from here," I urged.

He was beside me, leading me toward the exit, one hand still on my back. I didn't miss the look of triumph he gave Harry and in that moment, I didn't particularly care. We retrieved our cloaks and then we were outside. "Where are you living now?" he asked me and I shook my head desperately.

"Take me home with you." I rose up and kissed him. His lips fell apart, probably in surprise, and I dragged my teeth lightly against his lower lip. His breath caught and hissed out. I pulled back, just enough to talk, our breath still mingling. "Take me home."

We apparated somewhere, it didn't matter where. I started pulling at his clothes, and after a minute's hesitation, he took over from my frantic fingers and I turned my attention to my own clothes. We were naked and then he was on his back and I was sinking down on top of him, eyes closed, head thrown back. I rode him, desperate to feel something, anything, until he groaned with his release and then I collapsed down beside him, eyes still closed.

I felt him sit up and then he pulled me against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me and held me. I made to get up, to be away, but his arms tightened around me and I relented and rested my head down on his shoulder. He held me until the hollow feeling went away, until the numbness turned into tears, and then until the tears slowed, then stopped. A warmth took their place, a warmth I hadn't felt in what felt like forever.

"I-" I began, but he cut me off.

"Don't."

He had his own reasons for doing what we did, of course. Maybe he just wanted to shag the pretty young redhead, maybe revenge. Or maybe there was a reason he followed me with his eyes, maybe there was a reason he'd seen me flee the party and had come after me.

I lay against him, clutching his arm. I felt at peace. Content, my eyes fell shut, weighed down by the emotions of the day. I slept.


End file.
